So I am not sure if I have just been oblivious (Miriam has braces?) or that it was just a ‘coinkey-dink’ (coincidence- for those not in the KNOW) but the other day I was in a mall and as I saw two people whip out their wallets to pay, I noticed in the window part of the wallet, you know, where normally we have our ID card or what not, was a US Dollar Bill (*queue music* I am proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m free, and I won’t forget the men who died to give that right to me… *queue tears and too much patriotism*) Anyway. Really. Odd. I don’t keep Euros on the dash of my car. I don’t eat out of plates that are laminated with Rubles. Seriously. I don’t get it. Russians are always talking about how much they don’t really like America, and if they could go anywhere, it surely wouldn’t be good old USofA. Hypocrites. Sure thing Russians, you don’t like America. *wink.* And I mean if we are being frank, why wasn’t Jefferson peeking out to say hello, or Franklin. I mean, Washington? Really, that old fart?
Not only the dollar bill thing. But at the same mall where I witnessed the dollar bill “event” there is a food court. Duh. At the food court there is two Russian food places and one Chinese food place. All three of these places had almost no one in line, and food in the hot trays that was barely eaten. But there was one place called, “Southern Fried Chicken.” (I know, total rip off of KFC, but whatevs, I don’t have stock in it, what do I care…) At SFC one can get can the usual wonderful American fare. Hamburger, fries, fried chicken etc. Well, you can guess, the line was about 30 people long, no joke. (When it comes to lengths of time one must wait for food, in this case, 30 people long, I never kid. I know the importance of eating in a timely manner, and the not wantingness to wait… –I know, I just made up a word, but forgive. Want only speak Russian— a 30 person line is not a laughing matter. That is some serious waiting time) I find this particularly funny, because almost every Russian I have had a conversation with has asked me about the food here compared with my motherland. I usually say the same old thing, they are different, but not necessarily in a bad way (LIE—BIGGEST LIE EVER!!!) but I usually do add that I oddly miss Hamburger and Fries. To which I get the same response from all the Russians, “Really? Hamburgers are really unhealthy. We stay away from them, they are no good. No good at all.” All the whilst (thank you Shakespeare) shaking their heads in disappointment at what a bad habit I have, and that they are thinking that my lifetime ingestion of hamburgers is going to warrant an early death… Please. Russians drench their food in butter. Everything is either served with mayo or sour cream. Their milk comes in no lower that 2%. They don’t know what tofu is. And they think it is strange that I want to drink water on a daily basis.
